I have a squeaky chair. It drives Sue kinda crazy when I move around on it. Squeak, squeak, squeeeeeeak. She lets me know how annoying the squeak is quite often; she relates it to fingers on a chalkboard. If I keep squeaking much longer then I will be the fingers on the chalkboard rather than the chair. The problem here is that I quite like the chair but am unable to have it re-welded or replaced at this time and there is not another suitable chair in the house to substitute for it. What is a self-married guy to do?
A. I could continue to annoy her by intentionally squeaking the chair often. Then, when she complains again, like I know she will, I can point out how she is just projecting her stuff onto me. Being passive-aggressive should totally solve the problem.
B. I could use my chair only when she is not around to hear it thereby keeping the peace and at the same time being totally co-dependant and a people pleaser. That would totally solve the problem.
C. I could totally ignore her as my needs supersede hers. She will get over it like she usually does and that will surely solve the problem.
D. I could listen with my heart rather than my mind and understand that she is expressing her discomfort at the squeaking sound and not at me personally even if the words and tone of voice I hear appear to indicate otherwise. From a receptive and compassionate state I can then release any attachment to my side and instead seek a solution that will allow both of us to be happy. This would totally solve the problem.
The Self-Married guy would pick D. while reflecting on all the times in his past and current relationship where he chose A., B., or C., because he had no idea that D. even existed.
How many relationships in this world suffer due to there not being option D.?